GREETINGS HUMAN USER v2.4.1 >>>
*INITIATING PRODUCT MARKETING SEQUENCE*
::BEEP BOOP::
Are you tired of those BORING headware units that don't reference classic Windows 95 shutdown protocols? WELL SEARCH NO FURTHER!
## PRODUCT SPECIFICATIONS
This ultra-rare collector's edition headware unit features:
- Classic noir pigmentation module (aka "black")
- Retro-futuristic orange text display
- Premium cranial protection architecture
- One size fits all neural interfaces
## PRICING MATRIX
Your investment of £100 ($PREMIUM_TIER) guarantees exclusivity in this limited edition artifact from the dawn of personal computing!
**WARNING WARNING WARNING**
This is not your standard baseball cap, this is a PREMIUM NOSTALGIA DELIVERY SYSTEM that will transport you back to the days of:
- 56k modem symphonies
- The sweet sound of "MSN"
- That moment when you realised you hadn't saved your Word document
**SYSTEM MESSAGE**: Stock levels critically low! Act now before this rare artifact is permanently stored in the digital archives!
::END TRANSMISSION::
*Would you like to proceed with purchase.exe? [Y/N]*